'dear, boy.
i may start to stop ya, maybe it's the time. even i love you more and more. maybe it's time to stop it all. stop to loving you, stop to caring, stop standing for you, and stop doing something more for you. let's be back. back to when everything i do is without something special. why seeing you standing there, makes all what i want to do in order to can go from you just ruins so sudden? why? then what should i do? i want let everything as it have to be. i want to stop this pressure. i want to stop this all. i can't take any longer. this pressure is killing me slow but sure. this pressure got by dissapointed, regret, sorry, love, jealous and many more. thousand times i said to my self, to stop it. but it's always ruins so sudden, when i see your eyes, your nose, your lips, your face, you. please help me. i begged. please. it's hurt when seeing you, but it's should be more when you're not there. what should i do?? help me to stop, please. please. i'm being stuck fast. i got sick from this situation. i miss my old smile, when i smile with no press there. when my smile, i get from my heart not just in face. help me to stop please. i beg you.'

another love story

blog, long time no write ya ! i'm very busy with middle test -_-
blog, i want to story you about love and me. about i'm affraid of, about i'm frightened of.
blog, i've adored with someone i used to be his friend. but one day my best told me that she loves him. idk why but it's just a warning for me to give her a space room for both of them. and i just gone. but to be honnest, i feel so jealous. even i know that's not worth for it but i just do it. i try to stay away, but i stay calm in order to there's no curiosity from anywhere. but oneday, my best suddenly stay away from me. i don't know anything about it at that time. and then i asked her what's truly happens. she answer me that my friend's heart who her likes towards me. i don't believe it -_- there's so many reason why i do that. i'm affraid of hoping, i'm affraid to be lost, i'm affraid that's not real. so i just do like nothing happens but there's still screwy things for me. i just feeling upset about my self. i'm getting hurt because my best gets hurt because of me. i'd regretted bout everything, but i just do nothing. i couldn't make a move, i'm not the one who can't make a decision, but i have to. i'm afraid of lossing anyone.
ohya, i made another letter for another person,
"pals, if you reading this. you must know what i'm feeling about. i know, i'm such a jerk. i don't mean to take him from you, i really do not mean it. no one can manage heart except God, but there's some people who cover it with their mind. i'd regretted about everything, i'm really really sorry about. it's not just hurt you, but me too. i'll take a distance between you and him, as long as i'm not lossing both of you as my friends"
for you,
"dude, open your eyes, heart and ears. look! there's a girl who take care of you, looking on you with deeply eyes, and dreaming about you. Listen! there's a girl who laugh for you, even her tears drop when you feel sad about. open your heart and you can see there's someone like i tell you bout. a girl who stand for everything about you. and the most important, she loves you more than i do. ;)"

why love is so complicated? it's giving a happiness and sadness in same time. let it be whatever it'll be. love will find a way. if there's blind alley, it's just stuck or fly and search for another new direction. love has to choose, so the life. i'll take the risk of my decision. i'm not leave or stay, i'm just do nothing.

if you're searching for me after this all, you know where i am. it's good to see everything's like to be fine. even it's just pretend. thankyou for all of your done, i'm really sorry! i swear i do. i pray God will gives us the best and the better way. amien!

i've chosen go, i mean i let it go. i let you be with her, but i stay there. it's okay about i'm getting hurt. because it should be okay as long as i can see both of you smile. even that's not for me. for everything i've done, i'm really sorry! 

Tribute for my KENNE

hey blogs, long time no wrote yaa, miss you so !!
bytheway, i want tell you sumthin', i dont this a truth or nope. and i hope it's just a dream.
hmm guys, i've ever told you about KRISKENNA NADHILA, haven't i? yeah, she the beauty one . she is the best thing xeight ever have. i just felt it just a bad dream, so i don't know how to tell you about this news.

Guys, we've already lost her on July 24th, 2011 . Allah takes her with him, and i hope Kenna have the best side besides him . she had died on July 24th, at 09.50 PM in PMC (Pamulang Medical Centre) . July 25th, we went to there . to her house . when i met her, i just think that she's just asleep and she can waked up one time . but i know, what i thought is just a thing never be happened .

i wrote to you, promise and some opinion for our kenne from autiswonderland (xeight)
for ours KENNE :

1. Ken, xeight promise to you . we shall take care of your lovely boyf until we graduate or whenever .
2. Ken, oneday all of us shall meet there and makes a reunion . so don't ever you feel lonely,okay?
3. Ken, we always love you forever you were . and you must know that we're very care with you .
4. Ken, Big Thanks for been a part of us . thanks because you ever been family for us . and thanks because you should be there for us .
5. Ken. we're so sorry for our bad attitude to you . sorry if i'm very often insult you as "nci, buncit, tante, sipit, silau, etc" i'm so sorry ken, we love you kok .
6. the last thing, i wanna tell you that the rigidity one who let you with his big smile is RIVALDY ANNAS .your lovely boy, your lovely husband, your lovely best friend, your lovely boyfriend . he wasn't cry, even we know how sad he is to lost you is like the feeling your family lost you . yeah may i regard you something, BOTH OF YOU IS THE PERFECT TEEN COUPLE, i ever met .

i'll continue it later...

night 

come like wind

hello my blog and for a reader :"
i just want to the point here :' maybe i never told you who that people i love .
but for GOD'S SAKE :'( i miss them so much, even they just being my best friends for a while but i miss them so much, actually him :' i met him on twitter and facebook and suddenly i realized i never can forget all about him, i just lay aside just for while that i'm not met him . ohmy i need to meet him, i need to chat with him, i need to tell many story to him . and for a god's sake my feeling were same like before . i l o v e y o u :( ohmygod i know i must forgeting all about you , i need to forgeting you but why i cant T_T why i stuck on you whereas there's many people better than you, but why you that i know you never can love me? WHY ? i miss you :( all of my friends and y o u :(

love ya see you :( wish me for the best way