'dear, boy.
i may start to stop ya, maybe it's the time. even i love you more and more. maybe it's time to stop it all. stop to loving you, stop to caring, stop standing for you, and stop doing something more for you. let's be back. back to when everything i do is without something special. why seeing you standing there, makes all what i want to do in order to can go from you just ruins so sudden? why? then what should i do? i want let everything as it have to be. i want to stop this pressure. i want to stop this all. i can't take any longer. this pressure is killing me slow but sure. this pressure got by dissapointed, regret, sorry, love, jealous and many more. thousand times i said to my self, to stop it. but it's always ruins so sudden, when i see your eyes, your nose, your lips, your face, you. please help me. i begged. please. it's hurt when seeing you, but it's should be more when you're not there. what should i do?? help me to stop, please. please. i'm being stuck fast. i got sick from this situation. i miss my old smile, when i smile with no press there. when my smile, i get from my heart not just in face. help me to stop please. i beg you.'

Birthday Picture and wishes!

MAY get first, this for you xeight's may!

INTAN BERLIAN SIMAMORA, 17th years old. May, 5th

ARIEF TRIADI, 17th years old. May, 8th!

HANIF MEDIANDRA, 17th years old. May, 18th!

Happy Birthday to you... Happy Birthday to you... Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to youuu.... *singing happy birthday song!*

another love story

blog, long time no write ya ! i'm very busy with middle test -_-
blog, i want to story you about love and me. about i'm affraid of, about i'm frightened of.
blog, i've adored with someone i used to be his friend. but one day my best told me that she loves him. idk why but it's just a warning for me to give her a space room for both of them. and i just gone. but to be honnest, i feel so jealous. even i know that's not worth for it but i just do it. i try to stay away, but i stay calm in order to there's no curiosity from anywhere. but oneday, my best suddenly stay away from me. i don't know anything about it at that time. and then i asked her what's truly happens. she answer me that my friend's heart who her likes towards me. i don't believe it -_- there's so many reason why i do that. i'm affraid of hoping, i'm affraid to be lost, i'm affraid that's not real. so i just do like nothing happens but there's still screwy things for me. i just feeling upset about my self. i'm getting hurt because my best gets hurt because of me. i'd regretted bout everything, but i just do nothing. i couldn't make a move, i'm not the one who can't make a decision, but i have to. i'm afraid of lossing anyone.
ohya, i made another letter for another person,
"pals, if you reading this. you must know what i'm feeling about. i know, i'm such a jerk. i don't mean to take him from you, i really do not mean it. no one can manage heart except God, but there's some people who cover it with their mind. i'd regretted about everything, i'm really really sorry about. it's not just hurt you, but me too. i'll take a distance between you and him, as long as i'm not lossing both of you as my friends"
for you,
"dude, open your eyes, heart and ears. look! there's a girl who take care of you, looking on you with deeply eyes, and dreaming about you. Listen! there's a girl who laugh for you, even her tears drop when you feel sad about. open your heart and you can see there's someone like i tell you bout. a girl who stand for everything about you. and the most important, she loves you more than i do. ;)"

why love is so complicated? it's giving a happiness and sadness in same time. let it be whatever it'll be. love will find a way. if there's blind alley, it's just stuck or fly and search for another new direction. love has to choose, so the life. i'll take the risk of my decision. i'm not leave or stay, i'm just do nothing.

if you're searching for me after this all, you know where i am. it's good to see everything's like to be fine. even it's just pretend. thankyou for all of your done, i'm really sorry! i swear i do. i pray God will gives us the best and the better way. amien!

i've chosen go, i mean i let it go. i let you be with her, but i stay there. it's okay about i'm getting hurt. because it should be okay as long as i can see both of you smile. even that's not for me. for everything i've done, i'm really sorry!